I’m about to fall asleep /but am bursting with everything that I should write down.
Tomorrow is my first divorce hearing.
Every time my anxiety nibbled at me over it, I dreamt about renovating an rv and driving the kids home to Alaska. I’m an adult, however, who has sacrificed to attain this home in Florida.. for their stability.
We have a dog now. Her name is Luna and she prefers downtime cuddles. I feel the same. We connect on this good quiet time.
I then talked with some genuine people on reddit who discussed ptsd with me on a supportive level. THIS! Was such a healing experience. A counselor is one thing. Removing toxic people who fuel the negativity is a second thing. Connecting with peers who understand and offer perspective on the struggle of healing toward a positive life… invaluable.
No one wants to feel alone in this world.
And we truly aren’t.
Also, we went to a church bread pantry last Tuesday because the possibility of having no food stamps after February concerns me (however unrealistic) (it was unrealistic to be strangled too, remember that). While I was there I had to step in and help the elderly lady checking people in because she had difficulty reading the list of names. I quickly realized that the event being run almost entirely by seniors was in discord. They need help. I signed up for Tuesdays.
Next week, I’ll begin a routinely half hour walk at 6am to be there in time to help them stock shelves, open the doors and serve my neighbors. It eases me to feel productive.
Another thought, I didn’t take communion. As I’m learning more about the Christian assault on medieval Europe, I find myself taken aback by how much of Christian religion was gleaned from pagan rituals.
A man handed me a cup of blood and asked me to drink it in oath. Is it Christian or pagan by nature / origin?
I’d like to learn more before committing myself to oaths I may not fully understand.
On that note, I drew Celtic dragons for the kids to write their Nordic elder futhark blessings in runic. I am enjoying the shit out of homeschool.
However, We are in the market for a new math curriculum. Florida virtual school isn’t cutting it. Personally, I dropped out of school pretty early on so I don’t feel as if I’m much help: my 11 year old son already surpasses what I can comprehend. While I can research all the curriculum I may need online, I need help with math.
I thought this was nifty: I carried some curb furniture home, found the body of it too damaged to refinish for a profit, took it apart, removed the carved wooden legs, cleaned them up, listed and sold the legs alone for 20.00
I have the pieces stored in the garage for future projects: I just thought it was a neat way to reduce waste and basically pick up a free 20
I also pick up pennies in parking lots if you were wondering. I am happy in my own way ❤️